It was my birthday yesterday!  It was lovely.  I did not have a giant freak out, which I was expecting, as I do every birthday.  Updates later.

Uh, so I totally forgot SGA 5 x 01 was on today.  I haven't seen the last two episodes of the last season, it is necessary for me to see them?  Will I understand the new ep?  I possibly did not see them, because I am not that invested in the mind of Dr. M. R. McKay - sounds terrible - but, as a rule, I hate inside the mind eps.  I still haven't gotten to the last epi of House yet.  Also, I have a Carson phobia, and have no desire to read a Carson/Ronon fisting fic,  *shakes fist*

I'm having people over tomorrow to watch Doctor Who (they don't know the depth of my love - ie, yah, I've seen a couple of episodes) but S and F LOVE it.  Must not out myself as fandom girl.

Oh no!  I will not be able to catch up on SGA until SUNDAY.  Stupid guests.  But then, it was an excuse to buy candy.
Back from Washington, you guys!  I went to many, many, many museums.  I actually really enjoyed the Air and Space Museum, which I only went to in honour of JShep.  But it was really awesome!  I like....planes.  Actually, the entire time I was in Washington, I kept thinking '...must write au...' - did you know there is a MacKay award given to the USAF pilot who showed bravery/fortitude/smartness? AU.    And how John and Rodney were fur traders.  And how they were 1960's NASA employees.  And how they were in WW1.  and 2.  And Vietnam. And on the wagon trail and they don't die of dysentery.  GOD.  The entire time, I was just 'fuck canon, I'm only writing AUs from now on in.' 

Uh, has anybody else read World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War?  Because if someone would write an sga crossover with that, I could pretty much kill myself, because nothing could top that, ever. 

So I'm almost caught up with Doctor Who and I'm up with Torchwood. 

Okay, I'm sorry.  I just spent 40 minutes drafting an outline of an sga/wwz crossover.  In case anybody is interested in what my outlines look like, here is an excerpt:

blah blah zombie killing.  They reach the west and by this time are gay homos.  R needs to have decapitated a zombie by this point - possibly has sword of science!!!?!  ***Look up what else could be used as bullets once J runs out.  Possibly R makes a shotgun of zombie doom. 

The makings of a classic.

Anyways, Torchwood.  I have to say, when Captain Jack Harkness appeared on Doctor Who I was not his biggest fan.  Nothing shall interrupt the Rose/nine show.  BUT OMG.  I love Torchwood.  I love it so so much.  True story: I actually enjoy the plots.  But mostly I enjoy Captain Jack Harkness, my absolute dream guy. him so much, you guys.  I have liked characters in the past, I like JShep and co, Chloe from SV, Rose, uh, you get the point.  But I have an all encompassing love for Captain Jack.  Back in the old qaf days, people were Brian or Justin apologists, and their character could do no wrong.  I never really got it, couldn't they see that it was flawed, that the character was kinda awful blah blah blah.  No.  Now I understand.  Captain Jack can do. no. wrong.  And I will fight you.  My baby deserves the best. 

I don't really ship anybody in Torchwood, I mostly just want Jack to be happy and to run through gardens while singing a joyful song.  But uh, I have a shameful confession for you guys.  If I were to ship anybody, it would totally be Jack/Gwen.  Don't hit me :(  I've read the websites :(  I mostly am of the opinion that my Jack gets what my Jack wants and what the show is telling me is that Jack wants Gwen but will have fun with Ianto in the meantime, as a second choice. 

This is really weird for me, because I am a whore to fandom.  99.999999 % of the time, I will ship along with the good writers in fandom.  I am easily swayed.  I am so conflicted.  My heart is tumultuous.  I have to read some H/D or like, Clark/Lex to feel like I belong again.  Please don't kick me out of the cool kids club D:  Jack/Gwen 4eva, mfeo omg. 

Oh Doctor Who.  I don't even know where to start.  I am kind of crazy with my love - and I've only just gotten into it.  There are these two girls at work who I'm friends with - they also watch Doctor Who, which is amazing.   However, I am crazy:

Girl One: OMG I love the Doctor
Me: And Rose!
Girl Two: Oh, I don't really like her
One: Me neither, she's kind of annoy-
Two: Uh, okay.  Well I guess she's okay...
One: sure, sure you crazy person.  I'm humoring you.
Two: I prefer the Tenth Doctor.
Me: I prefer the Ninth, but I can deal with that.  Do you watch Torchwood
Two: I used to, but I really dislike Captain Jack
One: He's not really attractive


I also keep making comments about reading things on "the internet" but they haven't reciprocated to my sekrit fandom code. 

I need to rewatch the episodes and do an ep by ep review.  I can't really think of anything to say besides 'I love xxx!!!!!" and "OMG, OMG, OMG".  I watched the first episode with my mom today, and she was all 'what the hell are you watching, you freak out."  This is why I need the internet, always.

Sky of Longing

You should know:  John/Rodney, 14A at most.  No spoilers. 15 000 words. I love my beta, [profile] kimberlyfdr

Summary: Well it’s an au.  And they all work for an airline. And there are shenanigans.

“A pilot!” Rodney turned, outraged, to John.  “You never told me you were a pilot!”

“You didn’t tell me the truth either, Professor,” John said, as he squeezed his way past Rodney and headed up the aisle to the business class cabin.  “See you later, Rodney – if that is your real name.”


Link to Part Two
1) HAha, Sam Winchester's accent - I like how he says 'yers' for 'yours.'  I am also enjoying the fact that they are standing around talking on the main mall of my school.  Look!  The library where I study.  OMG - I think that me and Jensen have stood in the same place.  Soul mates.

2)Look!  My grandma's house got profiled in the Vancouver Sun.  It is now my number one goal for spn to film there.  Two people were murdered in the upstairs bedroom!  It has a secret passageway!  No ghosts though, my cousins and I did seances all the time when we were kids, but nothing.   Grandma's house got chosen for the heritage tour, which is cool.  Everyone in my family's gotten married there, and I've been having saturday dinner there since I was a baby. 

4)Yesterday at work we had a three hour, 6 way discussion on whether or not Carrie Underwood would be fun to hang out with.  I kinda want to quit my job, except that I love the free flights. 

5)I might take a three month leave and go down to work on the Hillary Clinton campaign.  My friends are telling me to stay in Canada and keep working for the LPC, but I kinda hate Stephane Dion with a burning, passionate rage. 

6)You know what bugs me about sga fic?  The amount of MRE's they have Atlanteans eating.  I mean, they can't have packed enough MREs to have people eating them every day for lunch.  Especially is S1 - I would have thought that MREs would be as rare as chocolate.  They're bulky, and I'm sure they had better things to pack. 

7) It is my personal canon that JShep makes really unattractive sex noises, and they kinda skeeve Rodney out.  When he closes his eyes he kinda feels like he's fucking some dirty old man.  JShep makes up for it by being unbearably attractive. 

8)Oh my god.  I have had a run of reading John as a homophobic mean brute fics.  Srsly, I got so angry on JSheps behalf.  John is basically my idea of a perfect man.  However, when I fantasize about him, I imagine that we have long talks about shoes and boys.  Sexy.

9)I think we need a new fic warning: I over identify with Rodney McKay and was bullied as a child.  If I have to read one more fic where Rodney is abused by big meanies and cries all night, I am going to go beat up some kid wearing glasses and reading sci fi.  Basically, myself.

10) Lauren Conrad is a cylon.
I'm back!  Actually, I was back yesterday, but I opened my inbox and I had 58 new messages, two of which concerned meetings scheduled for today.  I was ridiculously jet-lagged/hungover (free booze on the plane, people) and kinda made bug eyes several times during meetings.

When I got off the plane, my mother told me the prime minister had been assassinated and I was filled with excitement over the drama-rama  horrified that I had been that out of the loop/ that PM's cat Cheddar was now fatherless.   Lying to me like this is how my mother punishes me for not emailing for two weeks. 

I"M BACK IN SCHOOL, come September.  I am not hyperventilating in the slightest </LIES>  I am no longer a hobo and am a registered student.  I had to meet with my faculty adviser, who was all "Hohoho, look who has returned from the war."  He continued to use the war analogy for the rest of the 2 hour meeting.  I was so hungover, you guys.  It was not fun. 

Britain is amazing.  I want to live there.  I am seriously looking into exchanges - I can do a canadian history degree in Britain, right? - because I didn't want to leave.  I love the accents.  I love the tube.  I love the giant pillar with the gold pineapple on top - if you go to London, it's right by St. Paul's Cathedral, and no one knew what the hell it was.  Giant pineapple. 

I also loved my dirty hostel.  My room had three sets of bunk beds.  I had the bottom bunk and the guy on top of me (that's what she said?) was an Australian guy.  He was really really nice, but really kinda racist, which made me laugh because I am white and privileged..   I think he was trying to hit on me by telling me how liberal he was (I told him I worked for LPC) and then giving really horribly right wing answers.  Silly Australian.  He should know the real way to hit on me is to buy me drinks and then hold my handbag when I trip over my shoes.   

OMG, I watched Doctor Who and first season of torchwood.  I was being social!  I burned it onto a dvd (by request) and watched it in the common room with a bunch of drunk people.  fadkjdafslj Captain Jack Harkness is like, the most attractive man I have ever seen in my entire life.  This girl from Arkansas preferred Owen and I wanted to smack her eyes out.  You guys, Owen is so disturbingly weird looking.  I hate his lips.  He looks like Voldemort. 

I basically am only watching torchwood for capt jack, who I will never get over.  I didn't even really like him in Who, wtf.  When it is a jack lite episode, I just get drunk.   

I'm up to Who 309.  Okay, fandom,  help a girl out.  I know there is good Doctor Who fic out there.  I had a super quick look before posting this, and all I've found are fics where Rose gets pregnant and she and the Doctor kill Martha and settle in some cottage.  Rec me up.  Also - I like Martha - I loved Rose, and every time the Doctor and Martha are onscreen I get a mean little pain of 'haha, loser.  He will *never* get over her."   If this does not continue to be true, please tell me now. 

Who should I friend for interesting Who discussion?  All I'm finding is vitriolic hate toward one or the other of the girls, which makes me sad.  I do however, want essays about how Doctor/Rose are otp but Martha is okay too. 

Oh!  And someone has to have rewritten 308-309 where it is Rose the maid, not Martha, in 1913 with the doctor as a professor.  I want to read it, even if it is awful.  Wish fulfillment, you guys.   

I missed lj so much.  I will never leave you again. 

I missed my flight to CROATIA - IE, ZAGREB, ie, I totally knew, oh god, never drinking again - and decided to stay in london to hang with harry potter and rose tyler.  I'm sure I'll just meet them, you know, on the street.  Today = British museum as it is raining and I forgot my coat.  I am in a hilariously dirty hostel, which I keep thinking is posh as everybody has rockin accents.  I have 1:20 of internet left and still have to email my parents to tell them I am not in canada anymore.  yay 5 minute internet cards!

So I got home yesterday, after over two weeks traveling around Thailand and Vietnam  I get to spend the day in Korea, which was very cool.*   Kimchi is kinda not delicious, fyi.  I also got to spend 26 hours in Hong Kong, but I spent the entire time in the airport.  I slept in the prayer room, covered in prayer rugs, because I`m respectful like that.  Every once in a while Muslims would come in to do their prayers and I would wake up loudly and it was very awkward.  Eventually I decamped to an all night Starbucks.  This is what I ate in Hong Kong:  almond milk, chocolate cake, fuzzy peaches and two apples.  I was really taking my time to appreciate the culture. 

Then I got to Thailand.** 

Asia is very hot, you guys.  I`m sure you are aware of it, and I sort of was, but I am not used to heat.  At home, I can wear jeans all summer and feel perfectly fine.  As a result of the other side of the world not being exactly like Canada, there are very few photos of me looking like a human being.  Mostly I am a red sweaty mess.  People came up to me in the street - just randoms - and touched my face and said "Hot!".  Thanks.  I go to the gym all the time and make appropriate work out sweaty faces, but I've never actually been dripping before.  It was quite disgusting, I have to say, and will never understand how it could be a turn on.  I smelt bad, people. 

Thailand )

Vietnam was an interesting experience.  I don't really know what to say - I feel kind of awkward saying thing about  my experiences in a country if they aren't uniformly positive.    I know that my experiences are only my experiences, and that someone else might go to the country and have something totally different happen or feel completely different.

Vietnam )

So needless to say, I felt awkward.  But.  Lovely country, very beautiful.  I went to war sites.  I didn't go to the beaches, or into the jungle, I mostly went to 20th century historical sites, which are going to be fraught with tension.  And maybe it was just me reading into things.

Anyways.  Uh.

I watched so much tv on the plane, it was ridiculous.  Sarah Connor Chronicles kicks ass.  I have a post coming up about how good it is.  Also Doctor Who.  I have come to the realization that I will never love farscape and that Ben Browder continually looks like he's been hit with a bat in the back of the head.  And I`m racist towards puppets.

*I saw a helicopter take off and like, freaked out and sang the mash song.  We all agree this is the best show ever right?  I mean, the most touching moment in the history of television is when BJ wrote out 'goodbye' with rocks.  God.  I think of that and want to cry.  TOUCHING.

**I am now so so ashamed of Canadian/US airlines.  Man, Thai Airlines and Asiana were nice.  They fed me and allowed me to steal their very warm blankets. 

***This trip has also reaffirmed my love for Queen Elizabeth.  I met up with this British girl in Vietnam and we traveled for a bit together, and she was all `whatever`about the Queen, which just made me want to beat her into adoration.  I love her.   QUUUUUUEEEEEENNNNN.  I must make a pimping vid.  She also did not like Camilla, which is odd to me.  She`s so lovely :(

**** Okay, because you know what? My A #1 fic kink is Sheppard fighting in one of the wars mentioned above.  I will read it even if he`s hooking up with an elephant.  THE TRUNK HAS A CONVENIENT HOLE.  Jesus.  Just picturing him in a muddy uniform makes me weak in the knees. 
Hey guys, I'm in Thailand!  And it is awesome!  I decided that Europe was too expensive and also too cold.  I'm only in Bangkok for a couple of days, and then I am moving on to Vietnam - that's why I'm sitting here in my hotel now, I'm trying to get a Vietnamese visa.  True fact: the only reason I decided to go to Vietnam was that I listened to Born in the USA five million times on the way over.  I'm trying to find a book on the Vietnam war to read by tomorrow, but I doubt that's going to happen. 

I have a sunburn, because I refuse to go inside because everything is just so. awesome.  I never thought I would really like Asia - not that I have a hate toward the place, I love the food, but I'm a Canadian history major  - the  bastard m-preg child of Europe and France.  I am built to love Europe, you guys. 

OMG.  I watched Doctor Who on the yvr-hkg flight and omg, I have never seen a better tv program.  I am ashamed to say that I am thinking about it all the time - -
Temple that isbuilt in gold, DOCTOR WHO, wow look at that reclining DOCTOR WHO Buddha. 

I am pretty sure that Rose and the Doctor are mfeo and I want to find fanfic to tell me this.   Also, I am in love with the ninth Doctor and can not deal with the fact that he may be leaving soon.  YES I AM SPOILED, AND I HATE MYSELF.  I am pretty sure I am only ever going to watch s1 because I can not deal with another Doctor.  Remember, I'm the girl who can not deal with sga genderfuck because it's like they are *cheating.*

Also, I sang Hannah Montana with a group of preteen Thai girls yesterday.  And got lost and wound up on a rice paddy (for reals!)

Christ almighty, I just finished page 42/42 of the fic I have been writing for the past six months.  I also did a politically correct edit of it, aka editing out the bits where I might accidentally offend each other (like the 9/11 jokes and the bits where John calls everyone a fag and then laughs awkwardly and sleeps with Rodney.)  You know what?  At my place of employment, we make inappropriate 9/11 jokes. 

Last week my house got broken into and all of the computers got stolen expect for mine (My sister: why can't I be like Cait and sleep with my laptop?) This was a disaster for two reasons: people's laptops got stolen and they all had to use mine.  I was at work and my sister calls me up to ask if she can use my laptop because she has a paper due - and I couldn't say no, not without a really good reason, and I don't think that fast - and there are like 50 tabs of man on man sci fi porn and links to MY sci fi porn and the fic I was currently editing wide open.  Yes I do have a link to lj in my browser.  So that was awkward and I'm pretty sure I came out of the closet.  Now someone has to beat me with a baseball bat at my prom and life will be complete. 

I have the whole month of April off and am too lazy to plan anything.  I'm thinking somewhere warm for a week and then Paris?  Maybe?  I speak french and have never been.  Then maybe a week in Asia?  I hate planning, this is why I need a travel agent.

Same song, second verse:  I haven't watched the finale of sga yet, because my sisters seem to think that school is more important than sga. 

Has somebody done a vid of the wraith awakening to Everybody (Backstreet's Back)?  Because I would like to see it. 
The only problem with writing sga set 'in the real world' is that I can't suddenly have a monster pop up to give me an easy plot device.  Nor can I blame everything on a handy ghost. 

I have fifteen pages of beginning and 19 pages of ending, but have about three pages of middle.    Blast, I've run out of story.  Perhaps I should turn this into a crossover just for something to do.
You guys,, I'm really kinda upset that I didn't watch sga on time with everyone else, because I'm sure I missed out on some really excellent bad fic, that I am now going to have to write myself.  For example in Quarantine, i

Uh, I don't remember anything else  that happened.  Oh yah, the wraith were there too.  As I said, I only care about the pretty people doing their thing.  More to come as I remember.
You guys!  I'm just catching up on sga - I hadn't watched anything since 405 - it is so good!  I am in continual flail!  I'm going to have to go back 12 weeks in sga_newsletter to catch tagfic and people's commentary - that should only take a year and a half.  I'm five minutes in to 410, and my prediction
Hmm.  No I wasn't right.  Good episode.  Good episode? 
Sometimes, when I watch SPN, I get all distracted, because they're walking in Steveston!  On the block I used to work!  I live in a mystery town!  And then I remember it isn't real.

OMG, you guys, I got so so so sick in Rome.  It was wretch.  I got pneumonia, probably on one of the planes.  To get to Rome, I flew Vancouver-Calgary-Toronto-Frankfurt-Paris-Warsaw-Rome.  It was so awful, what with weather and the fact that planes kept freaking selling out last minute so there was no room for meeeeeeee. Flying free is great, but it's hard to remember that in the umpteenth airport you're in,  being told to go put some makeup on by some flight attendants because you look tired.  Then I hauled ass around Rome - and read the BEST BOOK EVER about zombies - before I called it quits and tried to go home.  Tried being the big word there - I got denied boarding by alitalia, and had to go to the doctor and hang out in the hotel until I got a bit better at faking wellness.  Sorry people on AC851, I infected you yesterday.   I am so siiiiiiiiiiiick.  At least I have you, sweet tv. 

ALSO, in Rome I saw lots of nuns.  I will upload a picture later, because nuns are amazing. And I met the pope.  And had bad lines from Gladiator stuck in my head the entire freaking time.
Heh.  Yesterday at work we were looking through all the different country's travel advisories, and Australia has one for Canada, because of our incessant terrorist attacks and tornadoes.  More hilarious is the fact that on an internal travel advisories site, someone has listed 'vampires' as a danger in Romania.  It's why I'm not going there, for sure.  I think my new goal in life should be to create a travel advisory for the supernatural.  I feel that no traveler should enter Canada unaware of the dangers of Sasquatches and loup-garous.   Step one in plan: learn how to spell both of those buddies.

I know that practically every second post has me explaining my whereabouts, and this one is no different.  I've been at work.  Always.  Every day.  I had one day off in January, and worked about 57 eight hour shifts in the month :(  But now it's okay!  Because they were all shift trades and now I have the whole of February to travel.  I'm leaving day after tomorrow, and I decided on Rome and the rest of Italy this morning while I was watching Gladiator.  Has anyone been there?  I'm doing the typical OMG, I"M LEAVING AND HAVE NO HOTEL/ITINERARY, but at least this time I managed to find my passport more than an hour ahead. 

BTW, peeps, I get friends and family discounts, so if you can make your way up to Canada (one of the major cities- Dildo, Newfoundland wouldn't cut it,- but Halifax would),  I can get flights and all inclusive hotels in the Carribean for about 600 per person for seven days.  It's not a you and me trip, although that would be lovely also, but a trip in which I stay at home and sleep while you wander aimlessly around the beach calling my name.  Let me know if you get an influx of cash/spare time and I'll give you the details. 

I have watched absolutely no tv for the last month, which is depressing, although I am spoiled up the ass for sga.  Would somebody please pimp me the rest of the season, aka everything after sga405?  Some of the posts I've read make the episodes seem.....not Cait safe. 

I need to dl a whole bunch of stuff for the plane, and for the trains w/in Italy, so if anybody has any recs of tv I should be watching, let me know.  Ooooh, is Dr. Who worth it?  Because I hear that Torchwood is really good, but you can't really watch one without the other..... I've dled Twin Peaks because I had a VMars longing the other day. 
My exciting new years: i told one group of people I was going to one party, and another group that I was going to another.  Then I will stay home in my pyjamas.  I actually ran into some people (damn!  I got roped into politicking tomorrow) while I was picking up New Years essentials (peach juice, chocolate pudding and goram masala) and they were all....when I tried to excuse it as a potluck.  I did however, see the campaign office, and it has a jacuzzi.  For serious, it used to be a spa and massage parlor, which apparently closed under mysterious circumstances.  Hopefully everything coming out of the spa/campaign office will get a happy ending. 

I'm in the middle of Charlie Wilson's War, which is actually really good.  I have a secret dirty crush on Tom Hanks (he looks like my uncle, ok.  Everyone says so.  But you know what, Tom Hanks is hot :(  ) and on Amy Adams so I have to keep fanning myself so I won't be overcome.  Atonement was also very awesome, even if Keira Knightly usually really really irritates me.

You guys, it's only quarter to seven and I ate so much I think I might throw up.  But I still have so much more to eat.  The horror.  Wow, I'm priveleged. 

2007 Roundup

Romantic Relationships:  I went from being fraudulently accused of being sexually harassed at work (JM campaign, I was so not being passed over because I was a girl.  Don't tell my boss I'm the victim before even talking to me about it, crazy volunteer.  Christ, don't tell my MOTHER, EVER kthx), to being sexually harassed at work (pls don't be touching me there.)  Sadly, that was about the extent of my romantic relationships.

Career: I went from crying so hard I cracked a rib (true story, I didn't know it could happen either) over losing a political campaign to being irritated when I won a political campaign because I hated the candidate so much (goddamn hippies. I hate the environment.)  I realized that I have father issues with Michael Ignatieff.  I referred to him as dad, once.  It was uncomfortable.  Working at air canada is better, because I don't get so personally involved, I think.  The traveling is also very awesome - I need to get a list of where all you people live, so I can come show up at your doorsteps.  Feel free to do the same.  I'll buy cupcakes. 

Friends: same old, same old.  I see less and less of my old university friends.  People keep getting married, which I am not able to deal with.  Did you know that for every year a girl stays unmarried while in her 20's, her lifetime earnings go up by 10%?  At this rate, I am going to be a billionaire. 


I think I've posted more this year than I ever have before, combined :D  I am kind of amazed that I have been in the same fandom for over three years, and have been kicking around fandom for like, a decade (oh dawson's creek message boards.  I was thirteen and so adorable.)  I read my flist every night, I'm just terrible about posting - mostly because I'm not the greatest writer  - as shown by awful grammar and syntax, so it sometimes I feel a post sounds too forced and I delete it.  But sometimes I just post when I'm drunk. 

I love you people :D

I love my fic too.  I read a post by someone once, who said that they never reread their own fic.  I reread mine all the time, it's kinda ridiculous.  This year I wrote Springtime for Atlantis, which I am so, so proud of - it's the longest thing I've ever written, and the first time I wrote something that I would actually read if it came up on the flist.   I have real trouble writing fic where there's actual interaction between any of the characters (you'll note that usually, in fics written by Cait, that either John or Rodney is separated from the other) and so even if they only spend like, two scenes together, I didn't kill either of them (or anyone), for once.  Which brings me to Stand on Guard - basically my tale of woe over Ignatieff losing/my attempt to write a Rodney that wasn't dying of a terrible wasting disease.  Also, because I like disfiguring Chuck and Lorne :(  I think I'll go to Kavan Smith's house and tell him that I dream of ways to give Lorne a peg leg and an eyepatch.  New Years resolution!    *

With A Whimper got nominated for a mcshep award.  It was my first fic that I actually spent time on, and I was so nervous about posting it last year.  I still maintain that it's a comedy. 

2008 Resolutions

Go back to school.  I have to finish my goddamn degree.  What will the world do without another Canadian Studies major?

Finish some of the fics I have languishing in my computer.  Oh airport au, you ruin my interactions with pilots at work.  Cait: SO ARE YOU HAVING A TORRID AFFAIR WITH A MECHANIC?  PLS DESCRIBE.

Find some goddamn quality prison break het fanfic.  I know you're out there, you sons of bitches.

Have Michael Ignatieff marry my mom and read me a bedtime story.  What? 

*You guys, I just realized that I kill a lot of people in fic.  Which is odd, because if I read a fic where anyone I like gets killed, the fic goes on my shit list forever, and I lose the will to live. 
Ways I identify with Shep:  I never see it coming :(  Okay, you guys, here is a true fact about me: I would flirt with you if we met.  Men, women, inanimate objects, if I am unsure of you, I will get giggly and soft voiced and tactile.  I'm kinda backwards, in that I'm really nice to you until I decide I like you, and then I become my normal bitchy self.  I work in a call center and am really, ridiculously slutty on the phone.  You'd be surprised at how many people actually think I like them - don't they realize that, much like a prostitute, I am paid to be nice to them?  People ask for my phone number and stuff, and are like, really pushy until I tell them *giggle, sigh* "boyfriend/bestfriend  would be so totally jealous if I gave my number to someone as awesome as you"  *giggle, hidden eyeroll, hang up*  AND THEN I MAKE FUN OF THEM.  BECAUSE I HAVE THE EMOTIONAL MATURITY OF A TWELVE YEAR OLD. *  So when I flirt with you, it doens't mean anything, guy at work.  You are thirty five and I listen to Hannah Montana.  So when I tell you no, it means no.  It doesn't mean, I'm talking to that other guy to make you jealous, so please don't tell that to my friends, because you are technically my supervisor.  No, I was not expecting this, because honestly,  I don't even notice that I my smiling could be construed as hitting on you.  Ugh, it's just what I do. Ugh.  You know, people at work, I honeslty don't like you that way.  No, not even you, guy from tech support, so stop asking me for drinks, because I hate you.

This is not one of those poor pitiful me posts of the pretty girl variety, who tosses her hair and says that she just hates the attention.  I just feel awkward all the time, and it's my coping mechanism.  And then when somebody actually believes it, I want to cry and sit in a hole.  ljfdslajflsadjfasdlfj life is so hard.   akdfjlsdajfljfsdajsd

HAHAHA.  I did tell people I have a boyfriend.  His name is Cameron Mitchell and he's in the air force.  I am going to special hell.

* I believe it is my destiny to write Madison Miller in Atlantis, but an actual twelve year old Madison who doens't care about puddlejumpers (ew, ugly, and like, so uncomfy) and is bad at math (Uncle Rodney, this is my vacation, I don't like, want to like, sit in this gross lab) and has a crush on Jinto and steals people's patches to decorate her jeans, and resents the fact that Uncle John sends like, an entire gate team to pick her up when she's visiting the *cool* girl on MXT-P7V, and that Elizabeth won't let her use her radio frequency to talk to her bff.  I'm worried that this will turn into an epic Mary Sue, and am trying to keep any sort of cred I still have.
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